Grindhouse Double Feature!

No, not that Grindhouse. Last night, Portland's Grindhouse Film Festival hosted a one night only double feature at the Hollywood Theater that was SUPPOSED to include clips from the upcoming Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez movie, but somehow failed to deliver on that promise. And although, we didn't get to see any clips, or win any advance passes, or the Rose McGowan action figure, or the fucking Samurai sword, they still played legendary fight choreographer and director Yuen Woo-Ping's Snake in the Eagle's Shadow(billed as Jackie Chan's breakthrough role) and Italian cult horror icon Lucio Fulci's The Beyond.



In true Grindhouse fashion the first movie began with classic trailers for, Sister Street fighter and Black Samurai, which by the way show you like every single kick ass part of the movie to try to get you to go see it but by then you basically already have. Snake in the Eagle's Shadow began and it was everything one could have hoped for. Jackie Chan played a servant boy at a fight school who learns the dying Snake style of fighting from it's lone surviving master who is hiding out from the Eagle's fist practitioner's who seek to completely wipe out the snake style. Along the way Chan's character learns to merge the snake style with his own cat's claw technique( you'll laugh your fucking ass off) and defend his teacher as well as take a little revenge on those who have treated him unfairly. The speed of some of the fight sequences were a bit slow, but it had unintentional comedy, brilliantly choreographed slapstick scenes, and plenty of hilariously dubbed dialogue. People pretty much know what to expect from most classic Kung Fu movies so I have no doubt that if you are into to them that this film would definitely be nearly as enjoyable on DVD or video. Although, you can't beat the roaring laughter and cheers from a theater full of patrons.

Before the start of The Beyond we were once again treated to more vintage trailers. This time it was Blood Sucking Freaks and Dawn of the Dead. The Beyond can only be summarized as a tale of a New York woman who comes to Louisiana and purchases a hotel that just so happens to contain the 7 gates of hell in where else; the basement. As badly made as many early Kung Fu movies are, The Beyond is far worse. At times there seemed to be no regard for continuity or logic. One second a gun runs out of bullets, a second later it has them again, then they run out, THEN the actor ditches the gun(perhaps if he hung on to the gun a bit longer the magic bullet fairy would reload it again). I also loved the hospital sign that must have been written by some Italian production assistant that learned English 2 weeks before filming began("DO NOT ENTRY" - I know not funny right? Trust me, you just have to see it.).



In addition to laughs, The Beyond is also full of tremendous gore that is fairly good considering the year it was made. However, if I was watching this at home by myself I would probably miss the humor and goriness and just tell you it is the worst movie I have ever seen. So if you get a chance to see this on the big screen, then by all means check it out, but otherwise stay away.

Although, I didn't get to see the Grindhouse clips that I so desperately waited for, nor did I win the samurai sword the evening wasn't a total wash because I had a blast standing out in the rain then sitting in a hot theater with lumpy chairs filled with adoring film fans as we watched two classic grindhouse movies. See you all in two weeks from Friday.

That nympho bitch has got the BLACK SNAKE MOAN

Holy Shit! It's been a really long time since I have posted anything but I can assure you that I am now back. The past month has been almost a complete wash in regards to movie watching but the most recent movie I saw has got me ready to continue devoting my time to movie watching.

Last weekend, between a girlfriend who "wasn't in the mood to see any film geek movies" and multi-plexs playing absolute shit, we made a compromise on the latest film from Craig Brewer, Black Snake Moan. As I'm sure you know by now the film stars Sam Jackson as farmer who has settled down in a quiet southern town. He's a simple man, apparently too simple for his whoring wife who goes and leaves him for his own brother. With a faith deeply rooted in Jesus and rhythm and blues he struggles to get over his wicked ex-wife . Before he's able to reconcile what happened, he stumbles upon a skinny white girl who appears to be dead. When the battered woman, played by Christina Ricci, comes to, Ole Sam decides to help her. When he finds out that she's a crazy nympho sleeping with whoever she can get her hands on he sets out to "cure her" in a way that he will never be able to cure his once loving wife.

I liked the film. It's definitely the type of movie I need to see right now. It reminded me very much of an exploitation film. Of course, it's a Hollywood picture so it left me wishing it was a little more trashing in some aspects (maybe a few more seduction scenes or more corny one-liners). The good part was it stopped before showing unnecessary or overly graphic acts of violence or sex, a practice that is far too common in today's movies. (All shock and no substance makes America a retarded people.)

Craig Brewer isn't the best director but with Black Snake Moan and Hustle & Flow he's proved he can make a pretty fun movie. You know, never mind-blowing but certainly never disappointing. I have faith that as long as Craig Brewer is writing the script you can count on the fact that his films will always: take place in the south, feature sexually promiscuous female characters, and involve some genre of black music. And that's just fine with me.