Let's Watch I AM LEGEND!

I wasn't planning on going to the movies this past weekend because, quite frankly, I'm broke as hell. On Friday though, I got a call from a friend inviting my wife and I to go see I Am Legend. Did I really want to see I Am Legend? Yes. Did I want to see Juno more? Yes. Would I ever turn down an invitation to go to the movies? No.

Now that that's out of the way, I have to say I was pretty excited about I Am Legend. I have been a fan of the Charlton Heston film The Omega Man, based on the same story, ever since I saw it at my friend Josh's house around 8 years ago. In fact, it's time for me to go back and rewatch that classic. But on with the new and Francis Lawrence's I Am Legend, with of course, Will Smith in the Robert Neville role.

The films starts with a television interview of some scientist who has found the cure for cancer. The viewer is quickly flashed 3 years ahead where a strange virus has essentially wiped out the entire human race and Army scientist Robert Neville works to find a cure to this unexplainable disease that he is immune to and has turned humans into blood-craving night dwellers. Smith hunts down deer in abandoned New York City with his trusty German Shepard, barricades his window and doors every night, and maintains a strict routine in hopes that he may encounter people that remain uninfected.

I loved the movie. Let me just say that. It's filled with genuinely frightful moments and one or two extremely freaky scenes. My only real critique is that the monsters look terribly fake. The filmmakers do some really incredible CGI work on the New York landscapes but the poor CGI on the monsters is hard to deal with. I was able to get over it though. I mean if you consider the improbability of the story itself then it's hard to fault a film because the monsters didn't look "real" enough.

Around the time of the film's release, there were several blog posts that talked about great scenes from movies that featured abandoned metropolis' and this film has got to move straight to the top. Most people think of 28 Days Later and Vanilla Sky and if you thought the scenes in those were great then you don't wanna miss all of the overgrown weeds in Times Square, gridlocked cars long abandoned, and wild animals roaming Manhattan.

At the end of the film, when I felt like my opinion could go either way, there was a point where I wished the film would end but instead a prologue began and I thought: "Oh shit, they are going to ruin the movie by tying up all the loose ends." I was pleasantly surprised as the movie was wrapped up in a short and sweet fashion. So there is nothing really to complain about. I Am Legend actually turns out to be one of the more entertaining movies I've seen so far this year and more than lived up to my expectations.

I really don't give a fuck who killed you!

Every so often when I go to the video store I will find a movie I want to see within seconds, but I can never just take that movie and go check out. I always have to see everything they have. Well a few days ago my wife and I found Ratatouille(a movie we had both been wanting to see) almost instantly but I had to continue browsing just in case something better presented itself. Then, a strange thing happened to both of us. An unexplained cosmic force drew us towards the Lindsay Lohan movie I Know Who Killed Me. For the life of me I cannot figure out why the hell we both decided it would be a good idea to rent this movie instead of what turned out to be a perfectly enjoyable movie; Ratatouille.

The film centers around this chick Aubrey Flemming(Lohan) who is a promising young writer living with her parents. It turns out Aubrey gets tortured by some sick bastard and then turns up on the side of the road. When she awakes from a coma Aubrey thinks she is some pole dancing whore named Dakota Moss. Aubrey's parents played by Julia Ormond and Neal McDonough start freaking out, but they decide that they will let Aubrey think she is this Dakota girl and hopefully she'll come to her senses. It turns out Dakota is some character from one of Aubrey's stories. Well, Dakota starts to figure shit out and realizes that the "real Aubrey"(GASP!) is still in danger because that twisted loser that cut her up is out there trying to find her.

This movie ranks up there as the worst I've seen this year and even one of the all time crappiest! When Lohan was out partying and shit one of the things that you would always here from other celebrities was how talented they thought she was and it was a shame that she was fucking it all up. Why did I believe that she was even a little bit talented? I mean she is really horrible in this movie! The fascination with the train wreck that is Lohan is probably why we watched this but I am done with her and Britney Spears or whatever other retarded starlet that thinks they can act.

Let's also mention that this was director Chris Siverston's first studio picture and it shows. How the hell did they decide to pluck this guy from the B movie ranks to direct this lump of dog poo? There are blue and red color scheme's throughout the film that have no relation to the theme's of the film. It's like he went: "OK we are going to have a blue motif repeated throughout the film, so I need blue jellies for all the lights, a blue knife for the killer, paint Aubrey's room blue, give her a blue gag, make her car blue, her shirt blue, her pantie hose blue, her notebook, eye shadow, and everything you see BLUE." I am sure they figured most people watching this film would be stupid but this whole blue nonsense treats the viewer like they are retarded. If this guys got his director's guild card somebody please take it back.

Please, if you find yourself wanting to rent this or already have it sitting on your coffee table, do yourself a favor and DON"T WATCH THIS MOVIE!